People always ask me why I do it. I definitely don't get paid to do it in any way shape or form, but it takes time out of my day. So it's always a question: Why blog?


From xanga blogs and myspace bulletins (remember those?), to tumblr posts and twitter tweets, I've always loved the idea of writing my thoughts down. I love the idea of having your thoughts down on something that can't be erased, or thrown away. But obviously, there's cons to that.

There was a time when some posts/tweets were more of rants than blogs. I would rant and rave, having this I-do-what-I-want attitude. (Oh boy.) And it was not healthy. As I've grown up from those teen years (and rebellious early 20's, yes that's a real stage), I see how that negative energy can literally s u c k the life out of you. So I've learned to distance myself from it.

Over time, I've come through the other side of that. (Sometimes, yes, I still slip, but I do try to keep myself in check... and when I don't, Lorenzo does and he's pretty good about that when he catches it.) In this whole journey of trying to be the best version of myself, I've come to find that putting the negative (judgy) energy out there is not going to reel in the positive vibes. Easier to say & harder to do, I know, but as long as your best is your best, it's all one can ask for.


Stay happy,
-Gardenia Rose

I've known Luis since I was the 9th grade. We had geometry class together. We became best friends in 2007 and though us and life have changed, we still remain close friends.

I asked him if there was a question that he wanted me to answer. He told he had one, but I had to take time to think about it... like really think about it. So I said would, and he asked:

Remember when formspring was in? You can ask whoever you wanted, whatever you wanted. Say anonymously or randomly process your secret love to someone? (hey, it happens.) I wanted to start asking friends if they had any anything to ask me and, of course, I'd have to answer. It didn't have to be philosophical or profound, it just had to be a question.

A few days ago, I started asking my high school friends if they had anything they'd want to ask.

I've known Gigi (Angelica) since my freshman year, but we didn't get close until my junior year in high school. We have one of those rare social media friendships, where we see each other once or twice a year, but when we talk, it's like 2006 again & we're just in the choir room (yes, choir room) having all sorts of weird fun. She asked me:


Children? Oh goodness. Don't let Lorenzo hear that. He'll trip and get all paranoid. lol. I, on the other hand, am cool with idea. JUST the idea. To actually have children right now? I'd be lying if I didn't say I would be completely T E R R I F I E D.

When I was in high school, I wanted seven kids. Yup, SEVEN. (Cue the emoji with the big eyes and people spitting drinks out of their mouths.) I know, I was crazy. Then, it went down to wanting four children. Thinking to myself, I thought four was a good number... then I met Lorenzo.

He's the oldest of four so seeing age differences and craziness of it all (not that his siblings are crazy); having four was a lot to handle. In the back of my head I still wanted four, but I figure I can settle for three kids. Three children. That's a good number... Then Lorenzo and I got engaged.

When you get engaged, after all the ooh's and aah's semi-fade away, you start thinking... When's the wedding going to be? Where are we going to live? What's that going to be like?... and among the one million other questions, you ask... How many kids are we going to have?

One day Lorenzo and I sat down to talk about (dun, dun, DUUUUN)... our future. This was one of the few heavily debated topics (and sometimes it slightly still is...) because, needless to say, there was a problem. I wanted four and well, he wanted none. That's right. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

For a woman (a woman who wants to have kids anyway), that's a hard pill to swallow. (Let's not even talk about how cute our Blasian American babies will look. lol. jk... but seriously.) We had to talk about it. Why he didn't want any. Why I did. All the reasons why we should and should not have children. I ended up telling him that I at least wanted one. One child that was ours. I wanted to have his children... I really did, but if he's not up for it... I really would just like one.

After a lot of silence... he said okay. (Thank God!) I was already so happy.. but he continued. He said that if we were going to have a kid, we can't have just one... we have to have two. And i was like... whaat? Then, he explained. He talked about being the eldest and how lonely it can get. (I'm the youngest so I wouldn't know anything about that.) He wanted our child to have someone - to hate, to love, to mess with, to whatever, but just someone. As if it was still possible to fall in love with him, at that moment I did. I thought I was being selfless to only want one... but for him to completely be selfless and say it's best we have two was well... amazing.

So, there you have it. Two. That's how many kids I hope to have.

Any questions? ;)
-Gardenia Rose