If you knew me in my teens & my early twenties, you can say that I was definitely not the nicest person. It's sad, but it was true. I made fun of people. I subtweeted. I wrote ambiguous and indirect blogs. I'm not proud of it, but that's who I was. Then, there were people were unkind to me. Posted things I wish I never read. Said things I wish I didn't hear. And it became a vicious cycle of unkindness. I think that was my form of rebellion. My attitude. I didn't do drugs. I didn't wild out and go to crazy parties. I was just... not nice.

People who knew me from high school say that marriage tamed me. And it's true. It did. And I don't regret it. It's made me less selfish and has opened my eyes to see situations and circumstances that go beyond myself. It's definitely allowed for more humility in my life (I feel like that's a whole 'nother post), and that's just the truth.

Kindness, for me, doesn't mean that you care for others all the time, because caring for yourself is also important. I think... kindness is knowing that there is value in people, and respecting that. They might not think like you, look like you, act like you, or dress like you. But in my eyes, Jesus loves them nonetheless, so all that's left is to be kind.

Now, this... this is easier to say, and harder to do. (I think I said that in my patience blog as well... or something to the extent of that.) It's not exactly cake for me, because, like a lot of women, my mind has the ability to get extremely judgmental. I don't know why we're so wired that way (or at least I am), but we're born with a side-eye look. Forreal. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's speech is in an excerpt of Beyonce's "Flawless" and she says, "We raise girls to see each other as competitors, not for jobs or for accomplishments, which can be a good thing." And it's true, somehow, most of us grow up with that feeling that we have to compete with each other. So when we feel we have to compete, we judge, to make the other less, and to lift ourselves up. It's a horrid thing to do and it's hard habit to break.

Being actively kind takes work, but from experience, being kind gives peace to your soul. Making daily decisions not to be rude and not to be mean, actually makes you happier. It really does. (Watch, just try it.) And sometimes, the meanest people and the hardest people to be kind to are the ones who need it the most. And that's when it takes major effort. But that's when it's worth it.

The most important thing about kindness is knowing your worth... and know that the other person is just as important. God doesn't see them any less, and neither should you and me.

-Gardenia Rose