On the first Saturday of Spring, our parents, Lorenzo, and I decided to go boating. It was only for two hours, but we had such a fun time. It's rare that both are parents just get to bond and without... other distractions.

This verse is posted on the wall of my office. I see it five days a week. I see it so often that I disregard it. Well, until this week that is.

After a meeting, I looked, just stared at it, and read it to myself... a few times. Then, it hit me. I don't know if it was because I was emotionally struggling or because I was just deep in thought, or it may very well be a combination of both. But it hit me with a tidal wave of "Ohhhh, I get it."

You can plan. You can be organized. You can have a timeline for life. This is not a bad thing. You can dreams and visions. What you want to do in life. Who you want to be. Where you want to go. Having the "want" in your heart to do or be all these things is okay. It's what us, humans, are wired to do.
BUT. Yep, that's in there. There's always, a "but" right? In this case though, it's a good thing. God established the steps you make. He sets you up. Or as people usually say, he opens that door... or closes it.

What I got from it? God has you. Even if it's not going the way you planned, He has you. He's got you covered because he actually knows what is best for you.

When I came to this realization, it actually gave me a lot of peace. (Which I'll have to tap into every now and then.) But it truly did.

A few days later, I remembered how my pastors and spiritual mentors encourage me to always not only look at the verse, but look at the verse in its context. So I did.

Proverbs 16 is 33 verses long, with a LOT of great content, and intense ones at that. (Well, the whole bible does, but you know what I mean.) I rewound and started at the first verse to get the "context" for my verse.

The beginning of the chapter talks about how your intentions are your own, but that's why it always seems right, but it's not always actually right. They just seem like it's right because they're your ideas. They're your own opinions. Kinda like when you do something you thought was nice, but then it ends up being something not-so-great, and they say "well, it's the thought that counts!" or "your heart was in the right place!" Kinda like that. So it's saying... that even though I have the perfect, fool-proof plan for my life, God knows better. Because what I know to be perfect is defined by me... and not by God.

Now, the goal is to actually commit your plans to God and to trust in Him. Well That's what I got from verse three. Now what people misconstrue from verses like that is that they think "just tell God what you want and all of it will come to pass!" Hahahaha... no. You can't paint God to be a genie with infinite wishes. It doesn't work like that.


God is a just God, but it never says it'll be cake! But even if it isn't cake, going back to what I first learned... He has you. He has me. So trust Him. With everything. In everything.

Easier to say, harder to do, I know. It may be a daily struggle, but making a conscious choice to do so is a start. And the moment you wake up, that's a very good place to start.

-Gardenia Rose

Oh wow! I've been out of touch for more than a week now! A lot has been happening and will be happening in the next couple months. (So many activities!) Well here's what I've been up to...

As you know (or maybe not lol), one of my dear friends is getting married in June! I attended her bridal shower and it was so much fun! I haven't been to a bridal shower in awhile, so it was such a joy to be there! It's nice to be in a room filled with people who all love one person so much, you know? Anyway, she has such a girly and yet vintage style, which worked to perfection with her rose garden theme. Everything was so cute! And I wish I took more pictures, but I was too into "being present" that it escaped me. This lady has such a knack for party planning and decor. All the details were so perfect. If you wanna see more of her cute bridal shower photos, follow her on Instagram: @monzii_ruiz!

This past Saturday, I decided to take Simba to his first major park walk. (Yay!) We went to Craig Regional Park.

Dear Me,

I have so much to tell you. So many things I wish someone would've said. So many things I wish you would've known. So here it is.

Be happy with who you are. Don't judge yourself by looking at the mirror and picking at the parts that you think are your flaws. Be happy with how God made you. Don't worry about not being tall enough, not being skinny enough, or not being pretty enough. Love yourself for who you are, for all that you are, exactly how God made you. And trust me, someone will come along who will wholeheartedly love you for just the way you are.

Listen. Don't be so stubborn and hardheaded, even though I know how hard that is for you. I know you think they're just trying to tell you what to do, but they're actually really looking out for you. We really do have your best interest at heart. They don't want to see you get hurt. They don't want to see you cry. they don't want you to make those mistakes. So the least you can do is listen. Don't shut them out. Listen.

Don't judge other people. I know that's hard for you, but at least try. You're not going to always have it together like you do right now, so be kind to others who don't have it together all the time. Help them or simply just be there for them. Everyone is different and just because they don't think like you doesn't mean their life route is wrong or their decision is wrong. To each their own.

Sometimes, it's not worth it. You know what I'm talking about. The drama. The pain. The emotional roller coaster. Figure out how to let it go and just move forward. Especially the ones or things that hurt you. It doesn't do anything, but eat away at your soul. I promise better things will come. Believe it or not, somehow, everything will be okay.

Don't freak out over friendships that are lost. They are meant to happen that way. Not everyone stays in your life forever and you can't force that. You'll meet new people. you'll have new friends. And like I've already said it's going to be okay.

Cherish your family. You'll do a better job at it later, but try to start earlier. Hang out with your parents more. Show your parents that you care. I already know that you do and I know that you love them, but they need to see it. Go over their house, call them, text them, and FaceTime them. Call your sister more often. Someday she won't be as near as you want her to be so don't take her for granted. Your sister's kids will grow up fast and you'll feel like you missed out on a lot. But just try to be there as much as you can. Take lots of pictures with them and make lots of memories. Someday you're going to have in-laws. Be kind to them. Love them like your own.

Lastly, love yourself. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are honestly doing the best you can... so don't beat yourself up. It's okay to cry and be sad, but don't be distraught for long. Get up and move forward. Life is not always going to be perfect, but happiness is always a choice. Jesus loves you. Your family loves you. Your friends love you. So you should too.

Be happy. Stay positive.

Love,
Me

(Thanks for this, Sam!)