The voice in my head that tells me that I'm not good enough is always there. Some days it's loud like a screaming voice. Some days it's like a broken record, playing over and over again. Some days it's a soft whisper. But I hear it. It's there.

Some days I feel strong enough to tell that voice to shut up. Some days I get the courage to tell myself that I am smart enough, I am strong enough, and that I'm good enough. But today is not that day.

Today, I am weak. Today, I am struggling. Today, I feel incompetent. Today, I most definitely do not feel good enough.

It's funny because I tell other people all the time... to know their worth and to believe that they are simply enough. But it's always easier said than done.

There is such a mental cloud hanging over me. And unfortunately right now I just can't seem to shake it off. This feeling is so horrible. It affects my entire day. Even if I try so hard for it not to, and even if I try and make that choice to be happy (like I always tell myself). Today, I'm having a hard time. 

There's so much uncertainty with my life that it makes me extremely uncomfortable. My mind is tailored to be structured and so, to not have structure in my life is making me go, honestly... insane.

But I know at the end of the day, I'm going to make it through. Even if there is so much darkness, I believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Even if, especially right now, I don't see it. I have to have faith that the mountains will move, the rain doesn't last, and this too shall pass.

-Gardenia Rose

I feel myself reverting to my laziness. I do. Today is Monday. I haven't worked out since Thursday. To me, to be consistent means missing no more than two days...and I've missed three. This morning I got up to wog (walk/jog) with Simba. We only did a mile, but at least it's something.
I feel so unmotivated right now. And sluggish. Perhaps it's because of my cleaning weekend, or because it's so gloomy out today. But... perhaps it's a good time to start all over again. Back at the beginning. I'm just in the "i-wanna-stay-home-and-do-nothing" mood.


So here's my personal monday motivation because I'm slacking and I need it. I'm trying to muster up courage and strength to continue my fitness journey. It's not looking fabulous right now (trust me, I have the belly to prove it), but I'm gonna get there. one workout at a time.

Stay real.
-Gardenia Rose

I didn't wanna go crazy and pick a bunch of gowns, because there were so many lovely dresses! These stood out to me the most because of their tedious attention to detail to create elegance.

Last one? Here we go!

Let's get right to it!